**warning, i'm not sure where this post is going so beware, it probably will not make any sense**
i'm a ball of whirlwind emotions lately, especially after that taste of labor on monday and tuesday. what an experience it was! so peaceful and beautiful and exactly how i pictured this birth. what happened exactly? well i'm no expert but i have a good idea of what happened. i was so deep in the zone tuesday night when we were sure the baby was coming. i was in my head, listening to my body, feeling every contraction. i remember coming out of it (distractions) and immediately feeling a break in contractions, then a complete stop. insane i tell ya. pam said to me "isn't it funny how emotions can do that?!"
this week has been full of waiting, both patiently and madly. full of yearning to experience this labor thing again. for real this time. full of praying, daydreaming, begging, preparing, teasing contractions. oh, and sniffles. yes i have a cold or something of the sorts. stuffy noses have taken over the johnson household.
last night while we were talking about how excited we are to meet this little person, i told andrew that this is going to be one cool soul. this baby is already teaching me so many lessons. i'm learning more about myself. how cool is that? this baby is still tucked safely into my womb and teaching me lessons. yes, this is going to be one cool little creature.
i still feel like screaming though. i am so ready. i can't explain how ready i am. i am trying SO hard to be patient but goodness it feels almost impossible. maybe i can walk up and down our driveway some more. or do more laundry. or cook more food. or clean the floors again. hell, anything to keep my mind off of...this. whatever this is. wanting to go into labor. wanting to meet my little one. wanting this to be over with and not wanting to let go of being pregnant all at the same time.
told you this would be everywhere. not even sure why i'm writing it.
oh yeah, i guess ill share the photo's i am now calling "labor number one" that my sister took this week. she did a pretty stinking amazing job. i love her. i was going to wait to share them with my birth story but i feel as though this part of my pregnancy doesn't belong to the birth story. just a crazy something that happens when you don't have drugs controlling your body and birth. this thing called nature. you heard of it?
oh PS- my sister is not a photographer. as a matter of fact i gave her a bit of a crash course on how to use the camera just a few days before these were taken. she did an amazing job. these were taken over a course of two days.